Thursday, September 3, 2009

Halcyon Days


December, 2005 :

Time has passed, but the memories of the Golf tournament should not be forgotten.

It was a lovely day, a slight breeze made the temperatures just right for the task at hand, the lush green fairways, the well manicured greens and the regiment of fine young men, ready and willing to enjoy this moment.

Unfortunately, there were casualties ;

John Oh who's constant battles with Paul Kashak took a terrible toll on the health of the young man, despite Dave Weldon's application of Windsor Pilates, add to this his ravine diving demonstration and it was obvious that John was a shadow of himself at the end of the round.

Paul Kashak, who survived the desperate attacks from one crazy Korean, ended up having both his wrists snapped by the application of the patented YongYeo beartrap, his hands twisted into a pair of ugly pink pretzels. His high pitched yelping and TBL (total body limpness) wasn't enough to thwart the young Koreans application of 7 ounces of pressure.

Dave Weldon, who was pitched out of a fast moving golf cart (probably by the application of John Oh's size nines) and thankfully landed on the top of his head. The application of 4g's of forward motion, along with 6g's of downward force magnified the fat boys weight to a limit load in excess of two tons at the peak of his head. Dave wasn't the same after this moment, being referred to as a "turnip" by one of his team mates. It was apparent later on in the car park when Dave was taunting "beartrap Yeo" with a Dremel, thinking that he alone could stop the smoking man.

Rob Chappel, who unfortunately drank too much apple juice in the day, suffered constantly during the day from the "banzaii twitch". The pressure built during the day, ending with the "dutch oven" technique, demonstrated in his own front room after midnight.

It was a wonderful day.